I’m a pretty positive person by nature. I like to see the glass as half full rather than mostly empty and I tend to lose patience with whiners. But sometimes I can feel a bit whiney myself. Sometimes this bizspouse stuff is just tough going. Someone reminded me recently that I don’t always have to post as the chipper, happy adventurer but with some truthful disclosure about the down side of living in a transitional state.
So if I haven’t lost you after THAT intro here is the rest of the story…..
The most challenging part of this journey is the uncertainty, the inability to plan ahead, thinking, “where will I be”? There is a scripture in Proverbs that says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”. I think of that applicable Bible verse when I wonder about next month when my niece’s first baby is due. (the baby that the doctors said would never be) I think about it when I wonder where we will be for Christmas and if I will be living in snow another winter. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth the effort to continue to build relationships with women that I may never see again. Why would I want to add one more “goodbye” to my list of too many now? I tend to bond quickly and love hard and loss hurts and goodbyes are sad. Is it worth the effort?
The dilemma also often remains with the housing situation. Hotel vs. Apartment. There is a saying that goes like this, “if I had known that I was going to live so long, I would have taken better care of myself”. That same thinking applies to this quandary. If I had known that I was going to be in this city for 9 months or a year, I would have gotten an apartment with a six month lease and had more space and better amenities. Since I did not know that, it remains a question of whether or not to move NOW into a more permanent living situation. We would have had more space, a patio to relax on at the end of the day and a garage to protect us and our vehicle from the ice and snow.
Sometimes the room is too small and the family is too far and the obstacles appear to outweigh the benefits. It isn’t always rosy. I am thankful, however, for a spouse who will roll with the punches. He is always willing to think outside the box and consider my perspective. He is a good bizspouse too.
Then I turn the page on the view at hand, make an intentional decision to be thankful and look for the encounter that the Lord has in store for me today. I once again CHOOSE to see this adventure as a pretty full bread basket in this heartland of America.